Affirmation and the beatific vision

NOTE, I meant to post this a while ago, but never got to it, because well, the rest of the series never got written. Got it? Now ya do.

This post is the first in a series. I may have explained some of what I want to say in previous posts, either here or on other websites. This and subsequent posts will attempt to explain how the late Holy Father, John Paul II's, wonderful teaching called the Theology of the Body (TOB) relates and is applied to homosexuality.

I've been reading Christopher West's latest book, called <a href="http://www.christopherwest.com/at-the-heart-of-the-gospel-2/" target="_blank">At the Heart of the Gospel</a>. Even though I'm quite familiar with his work of teaching TOB over the past several years, believe or not, I've never actually read any of the books until now. I had the privilege to hear Christopher speak just a few weeks ago at a seminary. Admittedly, I went there not only because I'm a fan and I want to learn more, but I'd heard about how Christopher interacts with men who have unwanted same-sex attraction (ussa)...and I wanted to experience it first hand. Say what you will about me, but you know how some people will always say "I'll be the first to admit that I'm not perfect" or what have you... well I'm putting that out there right now. I'm broken! Yes, I heard that Christopher affirms us men in our search and struggle for masculinity... and I wonder, am I much different from those who merely wanted to touch the tassels of Jesus' garments in hopes of being healed and made whole. I don't believe my actions were selfish, but when I asked Christopher to signed my book, I simply told him, "I'm involved with a group called ____" (a ministry that helps those with ussa live according to God's will), and he know exactly want I was trying to say. Almost immediately Christopher sprang to his feet and wrapped his arms around me so tightly. Then he looked me square in the eye and encouraged me to keep fighting this battle, because it's the exact same battle that he and every other man on the face of this planet are called to fight. I think I cried a little.

As I reflect on that moment, I don't think it's because Christopher believed that I had daddy issues or that I wasn't hugged. He wasn't attempted to be a surrogate father figure. I think that Christopher genuinely tries to live his life by offering every single person he meets as much authentic love as he possibly can. He does his best, by the grace of God, to live his own life as Jesus did. Many times when I'm in deep prayer in front of the Blessed Sacrament, an image of God I'll have is simply Christ looking back at me as intensely with love as Christoper did, if not more so. This isn't just me making this stuff up just because I saw a guy who knows his theology once and attempted to get some of what he has. The scriptures clearly coincide with this vision of what heaven will be like: "for now we see dimly, as if in a mirror, but then face to face" (1 Cor 13:12) and even "blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God". (Mt 5:8) Christopher, in my opinion, lives heaven on earth, but not for himself. Far too often, when we think about heaven, we imagine how great it will be, yet for our own sake. I think that's a mistake. While we all hope to "go to heaven" when we die, I believe that it's precisely that attitude that prevents us from living it out now, and possibly hinders us from ever reaching it after death. Of course, that second part is just my speculation.

Heaven is NOT about me... because LOVE isn't about me. Heaven isn't just 'the greatest thing we could ever imagine, but better'. John Paul II, in Fides et ratio,&nbsp; claims that man is 'capax dei', the capacity of God. Setting the philosophy of the work aside (only because I haven't actually read the encyclical and some thoughts were confounding as I try to explain them to myself), I take that phrase to imply a certain power and thus responsibility we have to each other. My mom would always say "you can live hell on earth and your heaven on earth". She's right... but heaven is not about what makes us happy, at least not primarily. Because we has human beings can bring about heaven in the way that we treat each other and because heaven is our ultimate good, we have the responsibility to do so. At the same time, I do not write this in order to guilt you into the Christian vocation.

We should be Christians, authentic Catholics because we love, or rather, because Christ first loved us. When we act out of that love, we fulfill our responsibility without even trying, really... we fulfill the law that's been written on our hearts from the very beginning. When I think about how Christopher loved me and so many others in the midst of our brokenness, regardless of what the brokenness was, I have no doubt of his intentions. Christopher is a true Christ-bearer, just as his name suggests.

Okay, so I know that this post didn't get much into the specifics of homosexuality or the academics and pragmatics of TOB in relation to it, but I hope this serves as a starting point for discussion. My goal really is to apply this amazing teachings to one of the most controversial topics of our current generation and to see lives changed, including my own, because of it. I don't think there's been enough work done this specifically on it. Yes, Christopher West wrote a book and Janet Smith gave a talk (and I'm sure there's more, and by no means do I wish to belittle their work), but I'm discovering even right now a specific vocation... calling me deeper into prayer...

Pax Christi

Pornography is violent

I still haven't decided if I should go into detail to prove my title or if I should let you mull it over on your own and reach the same conclusion. While at Mass this morning, Fr's homily was a reflection of sorts written by a German priest during WWII times who was arrested for anti-Nazi sentiments. At the tale end of the reflection, I caught the word "violent". Fr's homilies from today and yesterday were what I needed to hear, especially yesterday's, as it seemed like Fr. just spoke freely, with his jokes and a rough outline written out beforehand. Yesterday, Fr talked about resolutions and how a certain writer of faith would focus on certain words that she believed the Spirit was using to guide her contemplation. Fr. recommended that we not set such lofty resolutions but instead be open to how God can perhaps do the same thing as He did with the author and exhorted us to find a word, and ultimately we ought to find the Word...

Anyway, as I was preparing for confession, the word "violent" struck me. It seemed like I spent the rest of Mass meditating more on how violent my sins were and less on the actually mystery... sorry, but it's still a grace to be inspired with the horror of sin, so as to lead to repentance. I thought about how, specifically with pornography, we take one of the most precious gifts God has given us, and completely destroy it. By it's very nature, porn is violent. Sure, we might be lead to believe that it's good and, if between consenting adults who supposedly love each other, well anything goes (...and what's worse is when some teach that certain sexual acts are totally okay because the Bible doesn't say either way...but that's another post's topic)... and yes we might even be able to see some hints of beauty in the body of the other. However, I still stand by my titular assertion. If you need illustrative examples of this point, message me. I don't want to lead anyone into sin and will thus avoid explicit descriptions.

One of the things I love about the Catholic Church is that while the rest of the world and even other churches threw out all the decorations and boxed up Christmas on December 26th (heck I even heard that one dad unplugged the tree one last time as soon as all the gifts were unwrapped Christmas morning!), we're STILL CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS!! The Yuletide technically ends with the Feast of the Epiphany, if I'm not mistaken. I'm a bit hazy on the details about the Octave of Christmas, but I'm sure someone out there is more knowledgeable than I and can correct me. During the Advent and Christmas season, we hear much about the coming of Christ as foretold by the prophets. Today, the last of the Great Prophets, John the Baptist, the Prophet of the Most High, gives his witness to the One who comes after Him. After confession, I continued to meditate on JtB's preaching and how doom and gloom it is. Often we have the tendency to stop there. It sucks because that's not really good news, ya kno? Repent or go to hell! What good does it do if we call our fellow human beings, 'a brood of vipers'? Other prophets speak of God's wrath...scary stuff... but is that really the God we want others to see? I totally understand that we must recognize the sinfulness of our actions and how much that offends God...which is my point... yet, this message does no good without hope...

Yet I watched a parishioner walk up to the manger scene displayed in the sanctuary and I thought, what does all this scary, negative stuff have to do with the Baby Jesus? I mean, 'sinners in the hands of an angry god' just is not compatible with 'an infant wrapped in swaddling clothes and laying in a manger'. My meditation drew me deeper into the depth of the winter mystery. Jesus totally flips everything on it's head. While we're expecting something from the movies this year, we could totally miss the fact that He came like a winter snow...



So, to sum up, you've probably done some nasty things in 2011. You might even be caught in some pretty rough cycles of addiction. Despite these things, don't let this Christmastide pass without contemplating why the God of the universe decide to share in the human experiment. Heck, stop by the nearest Catholic church; there should still be a Nativity scene set up. Put aside your fears about worshipping a statue and focus on the meaning behind the image.

On a side note, I'm going to try to develop better habits, like blogging more, to kick my worse ones, like...well you can imagine. Given that, I want to be intentional with my blogs. Hopefully that's evident by all the links and tags I've included.

2011 in Review

So here is my post about how the year 2011 went. Given that facebook is becoming this timeline thing, i can see its use. however, i am NOT supportive of the format to be a permanent feature. i agree with one of my friends that it should be optional. anyway, as i write this, i try to think back on the year... i can really only go back as far as the summer, contiguously, that is. so, i was thinking that i'll use facebook and the fotos i posted there to help jog my memory.

so, here we go, with a simple month by month review. we'll see where we go from there

january
the highlight of january was my first ever march for life. i love the Church. that trip showed me just how alive the Church is in fact and how unified we really are, even if it seems otherwise on a myopic scale. plus, it was a great time to connect with the students who also went on the trip. i am really excited for this year's trip, which is just a few weeks away.

february
obviously, my birth month. i remember everyone singing to me at spaghetti dinner and a few students made me an awesome cake. i hope this year, when i turn 25, i will be absolutely SURPRISED by what friends do for me. never had one of those... hm...

march
a lot happened in march. the first week in march was the mission trip to luisa, ky. i really enjoyed it, tho it reminded me a lot of the trips to harlan with high school youth group. good times, good works.
another highlight from march was our parish mission, featuring fr. nathan cromly. little did i know that getting to know that good old priest monk would change the rest of my life...well, at least that i would see him quite often over the year... and i hope it's a friendship that will continue in the future. anyway, fr nathan is a religious priest with the community of st. john. he's involved with many apostolates, a few of which he started...more on that later. anyway, he did an amazing job preaching the mission. i attended every session i could with him, and even had the privilege of sharing breakfast with him and 2 of my coworkers.
also in march, another university parish help their first ever retreat, which we helped them put on. i was asked to give the same witness i gave on our retreat. a few of their students attended that retreat in order to get it started at their parish. it was such and honor and a blessing to serve them, yet furthermore build relationships with others among the universal Church.

april
there wasn't much exciting about april, so i'll take a moment to discuss some of the activities and such that i was overall involved in at my job, my ministry. first, as i mentioned before, spaghetti dinners. i organize the volunteers and help make and serve the food. i also lead a bible study, tho attendance dropped second semester due to schedule conflicts. additionally, i was put in charge of the adoration schedule. most importantly, meeting with students and just forming bonds with them in daily life. that kind of thing is hard to measure. okay... i'm not sure where i'm going with this paragraph so onto may

may
on may 5, our staff and some students went to see the minor league baseball team game. another great time. we all were given sombreros! ole!
the semester ended and the students went home... mostly. there were a few students who stayed. it was during the may to june period that i took to videogames once again. one of the students let me borrow his wii. that was an enjoyable time, as some of the guys who were still around in the summer joined me in rounds of super smash bros and links crossbow training.

june
see may

july
so one of the main reasons i, admittedly, took it easy early summer was that i and one of the students were sent to a program called ecclesia. run by none other than fr. nathan cromly, ecclesia is a month of solid formation that centers around the new evangelization. it was yet another amazing time of growth for me as well as networking with other Catholics from round the country, making lasting friendships.

august
as soon as ecclesia ended, i was off to the courage conference. such a joyous time, especially compared to the year prior's conference. last year's wasn't bad, but it just seemed like there was an atmosphere of redemptive suffering and penance. this year's spirit was much lighter and everyone seemed so happy to see friends again...friends they only get to see once a year at these conferences. this year, ironically, was the first conference since fr. harvey passed away. it was much more like we celebrated his life and the amazing work he did for the Church as opposed to mourning the loss. fr harvey is still praying for those near to his heart and the fruits of those prayers were evident at the conference.
not only was courage great, but a few days after that, i went on world youth day. holy moley! talk about the universal Church! it was such a blessed time...despite the fact that i caught a parasite that gave me the runs for days on end...

september
coming back to reality was hard... not sure if i'm fully recovered, honestly... or at the very least, i didn't prepare myself well for what was to come in the past four months... at this point, i'll simply say that it's been a struggle almost every week... yet i will not give up, no matter how often i fall...

the semester started back up. with new staff members an a renewed apostolic zeal from the summer, i was really ready to meet new students and take on the campus... i think we did a decent job, but we can always do better.
one thing that was added to my responsibilities this year was out sunday night catechetical program where students are encouraged and challenged to explore the richness of the Catholic faith by 'Going Deeper'...hm, i wonder what it's called. anyway, it's been a great way see the students grow, and such a privilege to direct their walks in such a real way.
oh yeah the audrey assad concert happened in september. that was a wonderful and fun night.

october
a highlight from early october was the switchfoot and anberlin concert. i enjoyed audrey assad, and am trying to organize something for the spring... but if it's even fair to compare concerts, switchfoot/anberlin was much more entertaining. yet, i digress that it would not be fair to compare the shows, so i'll stop there.
we had some fun parties at the parish in october, including a homecoming formal and a halloween party. both were a blast and a half.

november
a VERY busy month. i attended part of the retreat put on by the other university parish (that's kind how the retreat goes, but i don't want to spoil anything for anyone), their second one. on the way back, my car broke down. it'd been having problems...since i got it actually. there'd been times i'd go several weeks without being able to drive because it needed a fix i couldn't afford. so finally, when the fix was just too expensive, i sold it... for way less than what i paid... live and learn, detached. the next weekend was our parish's turn to hold the retreat. it was really great to see the fruit of the work we'd been charged with all semester come to fruition on that retreat.
just before thanksgiving break, i treated myself to the new zelda game. it's so epic...yet it was challenging. i gotta admit that i was frustrated multiple times. turns out that the random wii shut offs helped me from playing too much on any given day.
thanksgiving was good to see family, but didn't need it to be as long as it was.

december
the last month. ballroom mass was great, despite the rainy weather. more people would have easily attended if not for the inclement conditions.
one of the last men's nights we did was dodgeball. it caught on better than the monster mash, so much so that we played it on a weekly basis as the semester came to a close. they were just fun nights of guys having manly time of brotherhood.
and speaking of brothers, i made yet another retreat with.... you guessed it, the brothers of st john. it was really awesome to see fr. nathan again. this retreat, tho, was to discern my vocation. i didn't get to talk to fr much because he's not directly responsible for promoting their community and inciting vocation with them, nor does he oversee the novices. other priests in his order locally do that.
and of course christmas. again, great time to see family. i didn't receive any huge presents, but what i did get was very intentional and meant a lot. what i gave was good too. my mom loved her 'main' gift: a picture of me and my younger brother, recreated. we then put both fotos in a 2 foto frame. everyone else who received a gift from me liked it and was thankful. given that i didn't need much time to see my family over thanksgiving, i decided not to take off any extra time and just go home for the friday before and come back the monday after.


so... all in all, i'd say that this year was full of joy, and some struggles to still overcome, new friendships, even some from across the country and around the world. as i look into 2012, i'm hopeful... there are many new relationships to foster, and some to renew, including my own with Christ, through His Mother's intercession. may the blessings keep flowing.

Time to update my reading list

To all my adoring fans, super sorry that I haven't been posting that much. Life is crazy. Plus, I haven't been inspired (like I'm that specially that the Lord would speak canonically through me....poke. No, it's just that the Spirit closed the Canon around 425 AD) to write much lately. I just decided a moment ago to update you all with an update list of books with which I would like to update myself, so that I can be uh...up to date... Without further a due (is that the right word?), I give you my new and improved, updated, reading list!

1. Theology of the Body for Beginners
I know it's hard to believe that I still haven't read this one. I probably know a lot of what is already written in here, but it's good to have read it so that when I recommend it to students or whomever else, I can say confidently that it will help them better understand themselves and God's will for their lives and how that's written into our very bodies. I'm looking at the copy I'm borrowing from the student group as we speak... All those people look so happy... smells fresh too!

2. The Love That Satisfies
 Again, another one I should have read by now. It's in Q&A format, a structure of which I'm getting a bit tired. Yet, I'll push through it and hopefully learn something. FOR THE STUDENTS AND FUTURE CHURCH!

3. Love & Responsibility
 Ah yes, some meaty theology, straight from the horse's mouth...or rather our former beloved Holy Father's mouth. Christopher West is a great teacher, but I think I'm more than ready to take on this work, filter-free... or nearly so because I just realized that I can't read Polish.

4. The Church and New Media
 I've read about half of this book already. It has some really good insights about how to use new technology to evangelize...yet some of the contributors, upon close examination, might contradict each other. Shea says to just blog about how you experience God and His Church whilst Marshall aims to simply transmit what the Church has always taught by citing the writings of the Saints and Church Fathers. Both men are still in accordance with the Church in how She transmits the gospel. It's just that Marshall makes it clear that what he blogs about is not just his own thoughts and experiences. I'm probably not doing either contributor justice, mind you...and I hope I didn't spoil anything. Fr. Barron's chapter alone is well worth buying the book!

5. Loving Homosexuals as Jesus Would
 My friend and author of this book sent me a copy. I would comment on the *ahem* religious differences, but the Lord is working in Chad's life for sure. I watched a DVD I had of his. Chad, if you're reading this, here's my public commitment to reading your book....eventually.

Okay... I have a few more, but perhaps they are all books that I own and either started and never finished, or I just haven't gotten around to reading them. Someday I'd like to get through all the books on my shelf... That's going to be tough because I have to make myself read. Never did like doing that as a child... Oh yeah and there's still Scripture and Catechism in a year. I'm definitely still a month and half behind on that.

St. Therese Novena

St. Therese Novena 2011! I am joining over 2900 Catholics to pray the St. Therese Novena! I’m pretty excited to pray this with so many faithful Catholics around the world and I thought you’d like to join too! There are thousands of people praying through this novena website and there will be millions praying around the world. + Sign up for handy email reminders to get the the novena prayers here: St. Therese Novena + If you have a website, post about it there! + Email your friends and family and get them praying too! Let’s get all the Catholics we know to pray this novena together to St. Therese!

Making it viral

What I've been up to

This post is featured on my other blog.

Jesus established ONE Church (cf. Matthew 16:18, John 10:16). heck, history is enough to show that the different denominations shouldn't exist. for 1000 or years, there was only ONE Christian Church: the CATHOLIC Church. the word 'Catholic' even means universal in that it applies to EVERYONE. around 1054, it's true that the Eastern and Western 'lungs' of the Church separated, but many Eastern Orthodox Churches have since reunited, forming different Rites of the Catholic Church. so, not only is there the Latin )or Roman) Rite (which is the most popular rite and everyone just assumes is the Catholic Church), but there are many other Catholic Rites, like the Byzantine, Maronite, Chaldean, and even some of those rites are further sub-categorized. Despite these labels, ALL RITES of the CATHOLIC CHURCH believe the same UNIFYING DOCTRINES... because the doctrines themselves were establish by Christ and are firmly rooted in the teachings (or tradition, from Greek 'paradosis') which He charged to His Apostles.

Later, around 1512, Martin Luther, influenced by several competing philosophies (so it wasn't entirely his fault), after seeing the fallen, human corruption among some Church leaders (wow big surprise that Church leaders can sin, huh?), he decided to start his own church. Did he have the authority to do that? NO! Yet, he opened the door for other influential 'reformers' like Calvin, Zwingli, and many others, and thus today we find 44,000+ denominations (because let's be honest, non-denominational is still a denomination) of Protestant Christianity in the US alone.

instead of rejecting something just because it's causing problems, we should do what St Paul exhorts us: "Test all things. Hold fast to what is good." (1 Thess 5:21). we agree that denominationalism is bad, and even unbiblical. yet, the Protestant answer is "let's just call ourselves NON-denominational"... but that doesn't fix the problem. in fact, it only makes it worse because it's only creating more denominations and more division.

while my explanation is a gross over simplification, here's the simple answer to the obvious problem of denomination: JOIN THE CHURCH THAT JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF ESTABLISHED: THE ONE, HOLY, CATHOLIC, AND APOSTOLIC CHURCH!!


i don't say this to be right or out of anger... i say all of this because zeal for my Father's House (His Church) has consumed me! again, the solution is not to run away, but to push in further. test EVERYTHING. test your evangelical churches... they won't last. that happened to me. i used to go to an evangelical church. i tested it and it wasn't long before i was being force fed lies and the pastor was attacking the Catholic Church. it reminds me of Jesus' apparition to St. Paul. Jesus didn't say, 'Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting my people' or 'my church' or 'my followers'. fact is Jesus said "Saul, Saul, Why are you persecuting me? ... I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting" (Acts 9:4-5). Is it becoming clearer that Christ's Church, the one He established, isn't just a group of people who happen to believe the same thing... His Church is more than that; His Church is His Very Body. St. Paul explains in his letters multiple times that Christ is the Head of His Body, the Church. Since there was only one Church at the time, the Catholic Church (btw, the term Catholic was used among the first Christians as early as 80s AD; the term Christian was actually used by non-Christians, non-believers, those outside the Church), St. Paul has to be talking about the Catholic Church.
bottom line, the only True Church to be without denomination is the Catholic Church.
the providential thing about joining the Catholic Church is that it takes humility... and it takes a deep and profound change of heart. i should know, i've experienced it first hand. so i know i'm not going to convince anyone by my words here... but i hope someone takes something from what i've said and actually tests it out... and who knows where it will lead them.
does all that make sense? does anyone have any questions? feel free to message me in private.

...good. that solves that problem forever. lol